5 Practical Ways to Stop Judging Yourself and Others

"Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in a while, or the light won’t come in."
— Isaac Asimov

Dear Reader

A common definition of mindfulness is "being present on a moment-to-moment basis, without judgment."

But what does non-judgment truly mean? How do we practise it and what are its benefits?

What Is Non-Judgment?

Non-judgment is an attitude of openness, acceptance and compassion. As human beings, we naturally judge—our ability to discern and make distinctions is essential. It keeps us safe, helps us navigate life and empowers us to make informed choices.

Trouble starts though when judgment becomes constant—when we habitually critique ourselves, others, or both. This constant judgment makes us feel separated, lonely and disconnected—both from ourselves and from others.

If we continually condemn ourselves or others, we begin to inhabit a world shaped by criticism and dissatisfaction.

Through mindfulness, we intentionally disrupt this judgment and create more allowance and space in our experience. Instead of narrowing our focus to differences and criticisms, we step back into a more expansive awareness—one that is naturally inclusive and a lot less rigid. The judgments are still there, but they have less credence as we have a larger context to view them from.

We realise that the awareness experience does not judge; it simply watches and holds. By feeling more into this quality of awareness, watch and hold ourselves and others without resistance or condemnation.

The Benefits of Non-Judgment

When we cultivate this spacious awareness, we notice a deep sense of connection and belonging. We relate to ourselves and others with greater kindness and curiosity rather than condemnation. We no longer view differences as threats or flaws.

We recognise that we are all navigating life’s challenges in our own ways, and we have far more in common than what separates us.

This transformation extends inward as well. Our perceived "imperfections" no longer feel like failings but rather aspects of ourselves to explore with openness. This leads to a deeper sense of self-acceptance and intimacy with our own being.

As we continue this practice, non-judgment becomes easier because it feels good. Embracing the whole of our experience, both within ourselves and in others, fosters a deep sense of contentment, wellbeing and love.

5 Practical Ways to Practise Non-Judgement

1. Pause Before Reacting — When you notice yourself forming a judgment—whether about yourself, someone else or a situation—pause for a moment. Take a breath and ask, "Is this judgment helpful? Is there another perspective I haven’t considered?" This small pause can create space for greater awareness and understanding.

2. Observe Without Labelling — Throughout the day, practise observing thoughts, people and experiences without immediately categorising them as “good” or “bad.” Instead of thinking, "This person is annoying," try "This person is expressing frustration." Instead of "I failed at this," try, "I’m learning from this experience."

3. Replace Judgment with Curiosity — When faced with something unfamiliar or uncomfortable, approach it with curiosity rather than judgment. Ask yourself, "Why might this person act this way? What else could be going on here?" Shifting from criticism to curiosity fosters openness and connection.

4. Practise Self-Compassion — Notice when you’re being harsh toward yourself and reframe your inner dialogue. If you catch yourself thinking, "I always mess up," gently shift to "I’m doing my best, and that’s enough." The way we treat ourselves directly influences how we treat others.

5. Engage in Mindful Listening — When talking with someone, focus on truly hearing them instead of mentally evaluating their words or formulating a response. Listen with the intent to understand, not to judge or correct. This strengthens relationships and allows for deeper connections.

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