π The Present Perspective Newsletterπ§What if nothing about you needs fixing?Beyond the mental health benefits, mindfulness and meditation can deeply enhance our feelings of connectedness, to ourselves, others and life."Compassion is simply the wish that things be different. Compassion is the wish to give love and attention to that which hurts." β Sharon Salzberg Dear Reader Meditation is one of the most effective practices we have for supporting mental health and wellbeing. Because of these benefits, it makes as much sense to incorporate meditation into our daily life as brushing our teeth. In many ways, it is remarkably simple. It requires no special equipment, can be practised almost anywhere and costs nothing. It's a little surprising that more people don't do it! Yet meditation is about far more than improving mental health. At its heart, meditation is an invitation to form a deep intimacy and connection with ourselves, through being present. From this perspective, meditation is not an escape from the difficulties of our life and this world. It is an openness to them. An acceptance of them. We meet ourselves just as we are, in that moment. A noisy mind in meditation? It's OK. Feeling lost, overwhelmed or uncertain? It's OK. Feeling anything at all? It's OK. Allowing our self and our experience to be just as it is, in meditation it is how we learn to allow our self and our experience to be just as it is in our life. We learn to meet our woundedness, our feelings of failure, shame, resentment, hurt, guilt and anger. This is an act of tremendous compassion. And it is deeply healing. Every one of us has the capacity to do this. To witness, hold and feel ourselves in the present moment. And this witnessing, holding and feeling is, in itself, an act of love. We feel it. As we become more familiar with this way of relating to ourselves, we find it begins to support us beyond meditation practice, where it matters most. In our relationships. In moments of grief and loss. In rejection and disappointment. In failure and uncertainty. In losing control. In watching our dreams change shape. In ageing. In losing those we love. And ultimately, in facing our own mortality. Authentic meditation, which includes all of our life, is not always easy. Turning towards ourselves can feel challenging, especially if we have experienced a lot of self-rejection, searching outside ourselves for answers, or are carrying deep hurt, trauma and pain. But the rewards are immense. The struggle begins to lessen. We stop fighting our mind, ourselves and life. We don't need to spend so much energy trying to control, plan, fix or distract ourselves. Gradually, we discover that we realise we don't need to find something or someone that will finally make us worthy, complete or loveable. Instead, a sense of ease, warmth, connection and intimacy begins to emerge. A deep intimacy with ourselves. A deep intimacy with others. A deep intimacy with life itself. The practice of meditation is simply a way to both practise and remember this. It's a way of remembering who we already are. Because perhaps what we are seeking is not somewhere else. Perhaps what we are seeking has been here all along, within us. This week's newsletter is sponsored by IXL.Helping children enjoy learning isn't always easy. IXL provides personalised learning across maths, English, science and more, helping children build confidence at their own pace. If you have children or grandchildren, it could be worth a look... π Spring Equinox 5-Day Meditation Retreat, Dunedin, New ZealandβA unique and non-religious retreat format with times for mindful silence and times for activities, set on Quarantine Island, Dunedin, New Zealand. Experience five days of calm, connection and personal renewal.
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π Awakening to Self-Love
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One on one work with a certified mindfulness teacher can assist with anxiety reduction, improving sleep, reducing over-thinking, improving relationships and making mindfulness a habit in your life.
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βFind a certified mindfulness teacher to work with now.
Step 1 (2 minutes)
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Sit comfortably and close your eyes if that feels OK.
Take a few slow breaths and allow your attention to settle into the sensations of the body.
No need to relax.
No need to achieve anything.
Just arrive.
Step 2 (2 minutes)
Ask yourself:
"What is here right now?"
Notice whatever arises.
Thoughts.
Emotions.
Body sensations.
Tiredness.
Restlessness.
Calm.
There is nothing to change.
Simply notice.
Step 3 (3 minutes)
Choose one experience that is present.
Perhaps tightness in the chest.
A feeling of sadness.
Anxiety.
Impatience.
Silently say:
"This too belongs."
Allow the experience to be exactly as it is for a few moments.
Step 4 (2 minutes)
Place a hand gently on your chest or heart area.
Ask:
"Can I allow myself to be exactly as I am in this moment?"
No need to force an answer.
Just let the question rest within you.
Step 5 (1 minute)
Take a final breath.
Notice how it feels to stop trying to improve, fix or change yourself, even for a moment.
Then gently return to your day.
Why This Helps
Many of us spend enormous amounts of energy resisting our experience. We resist difficult emotions, uncomfortable thoughts and parts of ourselves we wish were different.
This practice strengthens our capacity to stay present with ourselves without immediately trying to fix, analyse or escape what we find. Over time, this can reduce inner conflict and cultivate greater self-compassion, emotional resilience and a deeper sense of ease.
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Why this reflection matters
Many of us find it easy to be compassionate towards others but much harder to offer the same understanding to ourselves. Becoming aware of the moments when self-compassion feels most difficult is often the first step towards changing our relationship with those experiences.
I offer guidance on mindfulness & meditation. Founder of Mindfulness Works. Over 40,000 people have completed my Introduction to Mindfulness & Meditation course.
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